Apparently, we ruin neighborhoods...

I am in an interracial relationship. Now, to be fair, pretty much any relationship I am in will be a guarantee mixed one given that I am a proud combo-kid. However, my boyfriend and I are clearly of different races just by looking at us. Having grown up with parents of different ethnic backgrounds and having dated men of different racial backgrounds, I am accustomed to side long glances or even out right piercing glares from the public. No matter the year, small town, big city or state, there remain individuals who think you 'shouldn't mix' or 'date outside your race.'

Once, while in a semi-large city (by Eastern Washington standards, that is) my mother endured a ferociously scary stare-down from a skin head who was clearly associated with the local white supremacy groups in the area. My brother noticed and went to stand next to her just to ensure her safety. This is the life of being a person of color... especially if you are married to someone of a different background.

Recently, my boyfriend and I learned about a sector of the population that has clearly defined their racial politics and have united despite any other differences they might have: the homeless in West Hollywood and the surrounding areas. Just a few short weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were strolling arm in arm down Santa Monica after a delicious sushi dinner. We were laughing about something or other and walked towards a white man who was clearly without home and in possible need of medication. As we passed we heard the low voiced mumblings of this individual: grumble, grumble, nigger, grumble grumble, shouldn't be with grumble pure white woman grumble.

After the initial shock passed, we paused and assessed the situation: Did that man just get racial on us? As my gracious boyfriend said, "He gets a one time pass because he's crazy. Otherwise, I would punch him in the mouth." It was weird and awkward to be pulled into this man's inner thoughts. It was clear we entered into a realm of his consciousness that he never would have shared on his own were it not for a deteriorated state of mind. And what would he have done if he knew that I am nowhere near being a 'pure White woman' in any regard?

A mere week or so later after a hearty Thai lunch that was to be followed by a beautiful walk and a much needed nap we passed a man who appeared to live in the corner bus stop. He stared and his gaze followed us as we crossed the street toward him and rounded the corner. In a boisterous voice he informed my boyfriend that, "You better not take that White woman down south with you!" Now, to be fair, it is quite possible that this was just a blanket warning that he provides and not a reflection of his personal opinion. At any rate, I turned and yelled, "I'M MEXICAN." I know this does nothing to impact his perception or words of warning. Nevertheless, I wanted to get things squared away with this stranger.

These events make me wonder how many other people would love to yell at the top of lungs the distaste for our relationship with only a touch of sanity keeping them in line. And I wonder even more if I actually wouldn't prefer to hear the thoughts of the supposedly sane just to be clear about where people are coming from. I mean at least I know what the crazy homeless are thinking and I am not so naive as to believe they are the only ones. My boyfriend and I both know that there are members of our own families that don't like the idea of 'mixing'. And while none of this ultimately bears any weight in our lives, it is an interesting experience especially when so many people want to declare that racism is dead and that no one looks at race, really.

We've decided that regardless of the pressure from the crazy homeless population, we will stay together and endure the fear (and possible ridiculous excitement) of being verbally assaulted over such an absurd matter.