Free Falling

He told me just after about a week of knowing me that he was going to make me fall in love with him. This I had to see. I told him that I would let him try.

After spending a year recuperating from a damaged relationship and then spending an exorbitant amount of time dating over 5 months with a number of false starts and several narrow escapes I had had my doubts about any new guy I was dating. We met over cocktails to see what would happen. We were both in it more for the story than for the date. After our initial phone conversation, I thought he was going to be a bit too gregarious and that two big personalities would never find a way to mesh. He seemed humorous enough but maybe too funny. When would I get to tell my stories and share my quick wit? Whatever. At least the drinks would be free. He had agreed to the date because I work part-time as a clown and he just knew I had to be a little off. He had, as he says often, kissed a lot of frogs and upon seeing me initially thought I might actually be the queen of the toads. Apparently the lighting and first glance had turned me into the perfect vision of a not so attractive fat girl.

Three house specialty drinks later we had found ourselves immersed in four hours of loud, spontaneous laughter and lots of story telling. He reached for my hand and we talked a bit more. It was a Sunday night and the bar had only a few patrons. He told me a story about some transsexuals on his block hooting and hollering at him. I laughed and he told me I had a beautiful smile and leaned in for kiss. One more toad for the list. But this toad could kiss and this toad laughed at all his stories- the quirkier the better.

That date that was meant to be a non-event ended about a week later. It was a week that made us both hopeful for the future, made us believe that two people could actually date with the objective of landing in a relationship devoid of games, hiding and emotional unavailability. Four weeks later, after spending nearly every day together, we had shared stories of past lovers, past horrors, and crazy families. Food, drink, long walks, and hours of conversation and laughs led us down this path we both call trouble. And last night he asked, “Did I make you fall in love with me yet?”

“Do you really want an honest answer to that question?” I asked timidly.

“Yes. The honest answer”

“Yeah, you made me fall in love with you.”

“Isn’t that a little fast? It’s only been a month.”

“I know. That’s why you weren’t supposed to ask me that. It was my little secret,” I responded.

“Well, I’m glad you love me because I love you too.”

“Isn’t that a little fast? It’s only been a month,” I teased.

“Sometimes you just have to take a chance in life. Thank god you said you loved me. I would have been left looking crazy.”

I laughed. “No. You knew I loved you.”

“Yeah, I did.”